Did you know this is a time of (ahem) cosmic change?

DID YOU KNOW THIS IS A TIME OF (AHEM) COSMIC CHANGE?

Eleanor recounts her trip to the Antrophy conference, the latest NOON Wasing retreat – and why now is the moment to take the next step, cosmically and factually

Did you wake up feeling different this morning? Did you know that this weekend (30-31 March) we enter an entirely new revolutionary cycle?

(It’s also Mother’s Day, although we know that 30% of Queenagers don’t have children. We also know that this day can evoke feelings of loss and sadness as well as being a happy family day. We’ve got a great piece by Bibi Lynch about surviving Mother’s Day when you’re not childless by choice. Whatever it means to you, I want to tell you about the wider context of change that’s going on right now.)

Now, I’m not an astrology buff but I do dabble a bit, those who really know about this stuff are incredibly excited about this moment … and this newsletter is all about shedding old identities and trying new things. So really it’s the perfect excuse for us to take the next step in our lives.

Not only is it the time of the new moon (always powerful in terms of setting our intentions and new beginnings) but today the planet Neptune will move into Aries from Pisces for the first time for 160 years. So, yeah, right?

The last time Neptune was in this same position was from 1861 to 1874 – a revolutionary period marked by the birth of huge new ways of thinking about ourselves and the world.

Those tumultuous years saw the American Civil War, the abolition of slavery in the United States, the invention of the kineograph (the first “moving picture,” which set the stage for modern cinema), the Franco-Prussian War and the birth of the Impressionist art movement.

Since astrology is the study of repeating celestial cycles over time, this could give us an insight into what might be about to unfold now until 2039.

My book at Anthropy, plus Kemi Badenoch onstage

Opportunities … and dangers

This is a moment of deep change – not just cosmic but also factual.

I’ve just spent a few days at Anthropy, a conference at the Eden Project where I learnt more about AI, the longevity revolution and climate. The agenda included sessions on everything from female founders to land policy to the future of automotive.

I was there to promote my book but I’ve come away convinced we are in the midst of a period of seismic shifts, opportunities and dangers. As my friend Baroness Martha Lane Fox put it, “The world is only going to get faster – this is the slowest day of the rest of your life.” EEEK!

Spring is also sprungen – in Cornwall primroses and cowslips dot the hedgerows, the rhododendrons and magnolias are in full flower and the daffodils are dying.

Shifts and shedding and springing forth.

How we spring at Wasing

Against this backdrop, 30 members of the NOON community gathered yesterday at Wasing for the NOON retreat, discussing and living the theme of our shifting identities in midlife. Some of us tried new things (cold water swimming), others of us talked about new directions.

(We’ll be focussing on identity and how it changes at NOON Circles this month too, in person and online – a topic at the heart of the Queenager experience!)

We know at NOON that we have to fill our new directions with new purpose and also with amazing community – one that provides support and perspective through midlife’s pinchpoints.

Nothing is more heartening sometimes than someone else saying, “I’ve been there, it’s enormously difficult, you’ll pull through.” We take solace in the fact that there is a way to feeling happy, renewed, joyful. Those ahead create the path for others to follow in their wake.

It’s the kind of attitude and exchange embodied in the NOON Circles.

How our Wasing retreats change you

Similarly, our NOON Wasing retreats provide a path to get to somewhere new in ourselves.

We start by coming into stillness, “spending some time with ourselves”, as the lovely yoga teacher Lesley puts it. We close our eyes. We breathe. We move. We come into stillness together. We shed the stresses of the outside world.

Then, we walk. Across the estate, through beautiful ancient woods to the lake. Once there, we strip off and enter the cold water. For many, that is a huge challenge. It is cold – maybe 8 degrees. Our bodies and minds are screaming at us, “What the Fxxx? NO! It’s too cold, too uncomfortable, too painful. I can’t, I can’t….”

But what so many of you have learnt is that actually: YOU CAN. You thought getting into cold water wasn’t for you or, frankly, impossible. Your kids, friends, partner (or inner voice) said: “You? Getting into a cold lake? Nah….”

But you do. In huge numbers.

We hold each other’s hands and encourage each other in (and warm up in the sauna and then get back in). And many of you tell me that afterwards you feel exhilarated, excited, thrilled that you managed to overcome your fear of the unknown and the cold and the murky water … that in fact you feel triumphant. Full of confidence. Invincible.

The real cold water swimming lesson

And that is the point: It’s not about becoming a cold water swimming regular (although I highly recommend it for the endorphins, the nature and the camaraderie). It’s about pushing ourselves to do something we thought we couldn’t do.

We’ve had women at our retreats who slowly make their way down the ladder into the lake and only get as far as their knees – as they emerge back up on the dock, they’re greeted by smiling, cheering and congratulations all round. The fear is real. And they’ve conquered it.

And that’s the point of getting in the lake: To show that things that felt impossible, or not “us”, are actually achievable.

Doing something you couldn’t

I’ve seen how powerful that is. Doing something brave that we thought we couldn’t means we can do it again … and again. That act of doing something we didn’t think we could is massive in making us realise there are lots of things we could ALSO do in other areas of our lives if we just gave them a try.

The things which are scary or cold or uncomfortable or “impossible” ARE do-able. We remind ourselves that WE CAN.

At Wasing, after the swim we eat, we laugh, we drink hot chocolate and eat brownies and walk back across the estate – sated and rightly pleased with ourselves. I love seeing everyone chatting intently, friendships forming. Then, we sit in the Circle and we share. So many of you have told me that it was in the NOON Circle that you first drummed up the courage to admit something was wrong or had to change… that whatever had kept you going wasn’t working anymore. Speaking that dread thought aloud was a gateway to transformation, the beginning of the onward journey. I love the way NOON helps people do that.

For those of you who didn’t make it to Wasing this time, you can book a spot for the one in July – we have a few spots left.

Is this you?

Do you feel like a peeled prawn?

I want to offer you another kind of opportunity to do something different.

This is linked to something new for me too, a new friend: The amazing Dr Joanna Martin who runs a community called One of Many. Now I know she won’t be new to some of you as there is already an overlap between NOON members and her community (and lots of you have told me we should meet). Thanks to the lovely Jane de la Haye (who straddles both networks and came to our Welsh retreat), Joanna and I finally met.

We had a fabulous lunch in the Cotswolds which was supposed to last an hour and lasted 5; I loved her wisdom, her energy and her advice. We talked about what it is like to feel like a “peeled prawn” – when all your armour has been stripped away. It can be liberating and terrifying.

Then, as is often the way in these things, a fortnight later I saw her at the Dress for Success Awards (invited by Mary Waring, another great Queenager) where she and I both won Power of Women awards for our empowerment of women. (You can see us on either side of Mary in the pic below.)

Check out a few pictures from the night…

About Joanna Martin

Dr Joanna Martin came to this space much earlier than I did. Having qualified as a medical doctor, she quit and went to drama school and then became a coach – more than 20 years ago when that really wasn’t a thing. She’s on a mission to bring key tools of personal empowerment to over a million women and is about to return – in her own midlife pivot – to her native Australia (via a deeply envy-inspiring 6-month roadtrip across Europe).

However, before she goes, she is throwing a One of Many conference where she and I will be in conversation in South Kensington, London on May 10th and 11th.

Join us via this special link for Queenagers. It doesn’t involve any cold water or wild swimming … though Jo promises it will be similarly transformational.

The more we have in our personal toolkit, the more options we have when life gets tough.

Joanna’s theories for your next chapter

As lots of you who have read my book or listened to me on Davina’s podcast know, I have done all sorts of weird and wacky things over the last 5 years to shift out of one identity into another. Some have been more effective than others, but I don’t regret trying any of them. (I’m a great believer in meditation, cold swimming, nature and above all laughing uproariously with other Queenagers.)

I’m really intrigued by Joanna’s trademarked theories about the 5 powers we all contain within us. I also want to know more about her tried and tested tricks for avoiding burnout and reframing our thinking about what we deserve and how to lead from our most authentic selves. So this is an invitation for you to come and join us and hang out in London. It will be an amazing weekend. I can’t wait!

Lots of love,

Eleanor

Your next adventure: Uzbekistan?

Looking for a real life-changing (and fun!) experience? Join NOON’s next trip abroad – we’ve got a few more plane tickets for Uzbekistan so if you fancy a big new adventure, get in touch and I’ll tell you about it! eleanor@noon.org.uk