Hi there
I’m writing this feeling a tad bleary after an incredible week leading 16 Queenagers on our signature NOON Retreat near Abergavenny, Wales. We were hosted by Laura Tenison (the dynamic founder of JoJo Maman Bébé), who sold her business during the pandemic and whose Queenager project is Wern-y-Cwm, this beautiful farm and retreat centre.
As you would expect of a world-famous designer, everywhere you look on the farm is a delight: It’s art installation crossed with World of Interiors with fun and quirky personal touches.
The farm perches on the slopes of the Skirrid mountain; we walked out of the garden and up to the peak, and looked out over 6 counties.
It’s quite something to be held for a week in such beauty, inside and out.
My invitation to you
I love hosting our NOON retreats – along with sitting in the Circles together and our other NOON events. I’m always staggered by how brave, hilarious, clever and insightful you all are. Queenagers really are the best.
The theme that emerged over the week is how programmed all of us are to be DOERS. Many of us are in a state of constant thrash and heave.
My invitation during our welcome Circe in Wales was for everyone to take a rest: If someone didn’t fancy 7.30am yoga and wanted to snooze, or felt a rest was better than a hike, then that was just fine!
(It’s always an invitation at the retreat – everyone chooses their own experience – rather than a request. We know as Queenagers that we tend to always be capable and in charge – when we get a request, we often rise to the occasion to meet the needs of others!)
Press pause
Taking a rest is something we can do in our everyday lives too. Can you invite yourself to take a rest when you need it?
Many of us are so stressed, either by the midlife clusterfuxk (there was lots of that in evidence) or by the pressures we – and the world – put on us. We rarely stop!
We hardly ever down tools and contemplate the big picture, or ask ourselves what we really like or want, let alone take time to shift some of our internal tectonic plates. It’s hard to carve out time to sit with the bits of life that hurt and heal us.
I reminded everyone to thank themselves for being there and to embrace the pause: Put down phones, be open to new ways of being and gaining new knowledge, luxuriate in 5 days of peace and exploration.
Starting each day with kindness
Every day we set precisely that intention by beginning with restorative yoga led by Lesley Thomas. This isn’t early morning yoga as hard-woman, “something to prove” exercise.
Lesley stresses at all times the need for us to be kind to ourselves – to silence that inner critic or tyrant. Stillness, spending time, eyes closed, with our interior landscape, feeling the ebb and flow of our very own us-ness, to check in with where we are and cultivate a gentler inner voice. It is definitely NOT about being a pretzel!
After a hearty breakfast of yoghurt, homemade granola, stewed apple and eggs, we enjoyed a pipe-opening climb up to the peak of the Skirrid (Ysgyryd Fawr in Welsh), mist sitting in the valleys below, mountains popping through swirling cloud – an epic opening foray! Stress levels declined as we huffed up the incline, past swaying ferns in a mosaic of colours.
The morning’s exertions were followed by lunch, a swim in the outdoor pond and a spell in the sauna looking out over the pond, flowers, hills and adorable grazing Belted Galloway cows – a traditional breed that, with their black-and-white markings, gives panda vibes. Next we luxuriated in a 2-hour gong bath, the vibrations and sound acting like an extended meditation.
Over the next few days we walked along Offa’s Dyke, lunching at a pub dating from the 13th century, the Hunters Moon Inn. That afternoon we enjoyed a deep dive into our elemental nature, during a workshop offered by NOON Guilford Circle Host, the brilliant Sue Durrans (a transpersonal therapist). She led a series of group visualisations on a Jungian theme.
What we can learn from Carl Jung
The psychoanalyst Carl Jung should be the patron saint of midlife: He believed this middle passage was a crucial point in the development of the self, and that we have to become a somebody (what I often describe as the years of achievement) before we go into a midlife chrysalis.
In this pupa, we become a nobody (oh yes, the whacking or clusterfuxk which takes away what we have been), and in the dark we embrace the parts of ourselves which have stayed in shadow. After time in the dark, we fight our way out of the pupa and become fully fledged butterflies (Everybodies).
In this phase we can offer our wisdom to the world and flourish (it’s the Queenager journey!). Sue’s session and follow-up Q&A were intellectually rigorous while also offering deep insights: She allowed everyone to meet her teachings exactly where they were.
(I’m excited to announce that we are going to be offering a new NOON course based on all of this over the next few months. Watch this space!)
An exciting personal moment
There are so many similarities with this journey and that of my book Much More to Come, which fittingly came out in paperback on the very same day – a great way to celebrate.If you’d like to spread the NOON / Queenager message, it makes a great Secret Santa gift, a present for a Queenager colleague, a book club exchange option or a stocking stuffer.
I’ve been told it’s a positive, uplifting read that celebrates this time – just what we all need heading into the new year (yes, it’s coming up soon…). You can buy a paperback copy here.
Another highlight of the week was NOON Editorial Director Jennifer Howze’s Desert Island Discs, which turned into an immensely jolly evening.
We all brought a particular song which meant a lot to us and in front of the fire we each explained why we’d chosen that song and then played it. The list was eclectic, ranging from Dido’s Lament to James Taylor via Achy Breaky Heart to my own reggae Queenager anthem She’s Royal. We’ll definitely be doing this again – we’re looking at integrating the concept into special NOON Circles.
What was really special: It was a fab way to find out more about each other, with stories and anecdotes we wouldn’t usually share…and some surprising musical favourites!
My moment of peace in nature
One of my personal highlights was a morning sitting under a mighty oak tree and exploring the farm’s hidden valley – a riot of autumn colour, bracken and warm sunlight. I spent a half hour lying looking at the red berries of a rowan tree, surrounded by the smell of wet grass and decomposing leaves and opened my eyes and found my vision spangled with diamonds.
Sazzie (one of our Queenagers) described later how in the Quaker tradition they talk about “holding those we love in the light”. She thinks of that when she sees light dappled through leaves. I found that thought profoundly moving.
And that’s not all…
Other bright spots: A workshop on the stages of a woman’s life, massages by the amazing Dalia (her schedule was completely booked) and an interview with Laura Tenison after a celebration dinner in the Great Barn.
She talked about her own Queenager pivot from retail pioneer to creating this beautiful, transformative sanctuary. Not surprisingly since she was turning over £70 million with 1,000 staff spread all over the world, she felt like the company she founded had become an exhausting treadmill, and she needed a change. She spoke of the peace and satisfaction she finds now on the farm. Small can be beautiful.
A collaborative experience
One of the great things about this past week was how our broader NOON team came to the fore: Lesley on the yoga; Jennifer, my right-hand woman and gracious host (she always brings snacks); Sue with her amazing visualisation exercises; Hannah with her teachings.
Best of all, of course, was spending time with NOON ladies. I’m so thankful for everyone who took time out to come and make it a memorable, wonderful week.
Thank you
Something special happens whenever I get a chance to talk and hang out with you Queenagers, this NOON community: Stories, support, shared knowledge and joy.
NOON is so much more than me – it belongs to all of you.
This week really highlighted how much I get from all of you, from knowing and connecting with all of you – on retreats but also through Circles, at our events, via our new Rebrand Yourself Course, in the emails you send and your comments on social media.
Thank you for co-creating with us this wonderful supportive community. I look forward to seeing lots of you soon!
Much love,
Eleanor
P.S. I am so grateful to all of you who offered me somewhere to live after last weekend’s Queenager newsletter, where I talked about how the flat I was buying had fallen through. Wow – truly touching! I’m glad to say that I have now found a very nice rental and am moving in this Friday! So now I’m off to do some more packing.
