An alternative to Valentine's Day: Galentine's Day for midlife

Looking for an alternative to Valentine’s Day? Chrissy Iley has a plan….

For a lot of people, February 14th is very pressurised. The pressure to be with some one, the pressure to make it romantic. I prefer an alternative to Valentine’s Day. All those red hearts and chocolates and over-commercialised sentiment is just outdated and needs an antidote. The alternative: No pressures from family or partners, no expectations and real emotional connection. Galentine’s Day is pretty much like that – all the fun, none of the hassle.

• Why friendships are so important in midlife
• Eleanor’s Letter: How to make new friends in midlife
• Why our friendships should span generations
• Find your new tribe: Come to a NOON event!

When is Galentine’s Day?

Galentine’s Day has been described as the day before Valentine’s Day, when you celebrate friendship, where you get together with your besties in a non-romantic mani-pedi or cocktail moment. Of course, you can also do it on February 14th – grasp the opportunity to reframe the day as one of sisterly love rather than the romantic kind!

The important thing in creating an alternative to Valentine’s Day is that you celebrate being there for one another.

It’s the opposite of the red rose, scratchy lace underwear, overpriced menu specials that can feel artificial if you’re doing it and exclusionary, like there’s something wrong with your life, if you don’t have a date or a partner. If you go out, you’re surrounded by fake love. If you stay in, you’re a “loser”.

We should celebrate female friendship more

I’ve always thought friends can be there for you in ways that your partner could never be. My female friends are worth celebrating! NOON research shows that 35% of women in midlife don’t have a partner – their friends are some of the most essential relationships in their lives.

From the conversations I have been having, even my midlife mates with partners have never loved their girlfriends more. Female bonding, with support, not expectation, has never been more crucial.

Why I hate Valentine’s Day

Even when I’ve not been single, I’ve hated the competitive “My valentine was better than your valentine“ angle of things — as if there is a competition on cosy and forced sentiment. As we all know those enforced romantic dates, the silent restaurant, the over-priced rose, the pink menu is about as conducive to a really massive row as anything you can think of.

And if you don’t have a partner, Valentine’s Day is beyond frustrating and annoying – it’s hard to escape it and at the same time hard not to feel like a castoff.

Galentine’s Day is one of those holidays that’s better known in the US but it’s gradually gaining ground in the UK (although happily even in the US we haven’t got cheesy cards with hideous quotes yet!).

How do you celebrate Galentine’s Day?

Your alternative to Valentine’s Day can be anything from breakfast or brunch, wine, happy hour, a walk, a yoga class, a fancy reservation or an at-home delivery. It can be a night in streaming movies or outing to a gallery. Take the opportunity to eat what you want, drink what you want, do what you want, with your friends around you.

There are variations of course, and platonic male friends can be included, but I love the idea that it’s a celebration of female friendship, of womanly support and community – which is why it is perfect for NOON Queenagers to enjoy – whether or not you’re in a relationship. After all, who hasn’t been disappointed on Valentine’s Day at some point? Who hasn’t had a Valentine’s Day massacre?

So this year, book a table and gather the troops. Or bake a casserole and get your girlies ’round. Schedule a group call for a good catch-up with friends who live far away.

However you choose to spend it, here’s to the ladies who are always there for us. Happy Galentine’s Day!

– Chrissy Iley