'I posed naked for the photographer Rankin'

Looking at the pictures of the older couples photographed naked by Rankin for a campaign for Relate, like the one below, I had a muscle memory of the time he photographed me – naked except for a strategically placed pair of haddocks, for a campaign raising awareness about overfishing.

I’ve done some pretty crazy stunts during my time as a journalist, but standing buck naked with Jerry Hall, fully made up, next to an enormous box of sea creatures on ice must counts as the most surreal.

Jerry was a lesson in professionalism. She chose a modest fish which covered her elegant breasts, kept the rest of her clothes – black trousers if I remember rightly – firmly on and insisted on looking down the photographer’s lens so she would know EXACTLY how she was going to appear.

But I am not and never will be a model. I was there because Rankin’s FishLove shoots – of celebrities from Greta Scaachi to Gordon Ramsay posing in the buff adorned only with sea creatures to protest about overfishing in the seas – had become a “thing”. My editor at The Sunday Times Magazine wanted the inside story on the shoot – but the deal was that in exchange for exclusive use of the latest load of pictures, they had to send a journalist along to be photographed too. Step forward…me.

I’m not sure how I got talked into it. The PR for FishLove was Jo Brooks, my friend and a valued member of our NOON Advisory Board. She is best known for representing Banksy, and she’s as anarchic and brilliant as he is in her own way. Somehow she convinced me it would be fun….Hah!

How the shoot began

I remember turning up at Rankin’s Kentish town studios and being made up for what felt like hours. I am bad at makeup and hate being fiddled with and prodded. When I go on TV, I always want the makeup bit to be over as quickly as possible.

With Rankin the makeup process was epic, and it wasn’t just my face. I stood revealed for all to see as the makeup artist scrutinised my skin for any birthmarks or red bits – very disconcerting I can assure you! Then they tweezered and teased my hair into fabulous curls. Supermodel Jerry spent most of the time on her mobile to her daughter, who was supposed to be there already. It was probably about then that the Champagne was produced…cunning.

What it’s like to pose naked for Rankin

I was given a voluminous black dressing gown and told it was my turn. I stood next to Jerry while she chose her elegant small fish. A mere 10 minutes later, she was done. It was my turn for fish and flesh.

Rankin came and stood with me by the sea creatures. There were star fish (fishes?), an enormous tuna, a mighty octopus (all slimy tentacles with suckers I thought might pinch or bite) and some beautiful (but small) rainbow fish. Hmm. Not enough coverage for me.

The lobster was an option but its claws looked razor sharp. Holding them near my bare flesh? No, thank you.

I sat – or rather perched – on a high stool, using the haddocks to cover my breasts as well as I could. ‘Smile!’ yelled Rankin.

My fishes, myself

Then I spotted a pair of haddocks. They spoke to me (although not literally). They were silver and slithery, but also a lot more substantial than the other options. Rankin looked me up and down. “What if we turn them into a kind of corset?” he said. It was more a command than a question.

Time to get naked

A couple of minions got the haddocks out of the ice and handed them to me. If you picked up fish from a fresh market, you know what this is like – they are freezing and they smell of, well, fish. They were also scaly and oozy. But unlike most of our experiences with fresh seafood, they weren’t being wrapped in paper and popped into my shopping bag, they would be snuggling up close with me.

My solution? I forced myself not to think about it.

I was ushered into the studio, another set of minions trying to save my modesty with the dressing gown. I sat – or rather perched – on a high stool, using the haddocks to cover my breasts as well as I could.

Then something amazing happened. “Smile!” yelled Rankin, surrounded by assistants. I tried. He cracked some jokes. I laughed.

“I love it, fabulous, fabulous” he yelled. Sure the fish were slippery, but they were also warming up. I reckoned: In for a penny, in for a pound and decided all that mattered was that the picture was a success. This was not the time for false modesty. I gave it my all.

And he managed to make me feel comfortable, beautiful – a worthy subject for his camera, even naked with freezing fish. He could see beyond my nerves to the picture he wanted. A picture I could inhabit and actually enjoy being part of.

What it was like in the studio with Rankin

After several endless minutes of smiling, and laughing, and heaving fish to and fro across my torso (dignified it was not!), Rankin got the shot he wanted. I showered — thoroughly — and headed for St Pancras and the Eurostar. I was going straight on to Brussels to do an interview.

The experience stayed with me – and I mean that literally. Once settled on the train, I realised I still carried a whiff of haddock.

As soon as I got to my Belgian hotel, I showered and bathed again, but it was stubborn. I kept finding fish scales in my clothes for days afterwards.

The response to my – ahem – nude fish pic

When the picture was published, it created quite a stir – I’d been writing a lot at the time about the importance of having more women in top jobs, particularly on FTSE boards. I spent a lot of my time meetings in the City.

Quite a few FTSE chairmen spent rather longer than was warranted telling me how much they had enjoyed my photo. Yeah. But it has generated attention and I hope done a bit for ocean conservation!

How I felt after I posed naked for Rankin

It’s now about a decade since the shoot, and although it was an ordeal, I am glad I did it.

As we age, it is good to have proof of our beauty – and I mean not just about hewing to a particular societal template. At the time I felt happy to capture this moment in time when I “passed muster” and looked good.

Now that I’m older, ,I’ve embraced the midlife journey and next chapter. I use my body every day to swim in the pond. I’m more connected to it and it’s changing ways. I appreciate not only its beauty but its strength and functionality, how it carries me through each day. How it feels when I sluicing through cold water, climbing a mountain on the NOON Wales retreat, gliding down a slope on our NOON ski trip or embracing a good friend, my husband, my daughters.

I enjoyed being included in the FishLove exhibition…and that this celebrated photographer loved the shot he got of me.

I’ll always be grateful to Rankin for giving me the confidence to disrobe and revel in my nude body, to wrestle with a couple of haddocks, to have fun and even laugh at the occasional awkwardness. I never would have expected that he could have coaxed this out of me. As you can see from the campaign he did for Relate, he gets something special out of all of his subjects.

Ultimately this picture is one of my defining portraits – happy, free and relaxed, all while in my birthday suit.

– Eleanor Mills

Picture: Courtesy of Rankin Photography ltd